As a nurse that works in the community I have worked with literally hundreds of families while they are trying to make health care decisions. I personally have had to make health care decisions for myself and my own family. What I have learned is the importance of being a well educated advocate. You are only as helpful as the knowledge you have when it comes to yourself or the person you are making decisions for. When a physician comes in and doesn't give you all of the possible scenarios he isn't helping to make the right decision for you.
In order to better explain I am going to use a couple of personal stories with you. Many physicians have their own preconceived beliefs about things such as culture, aging, quality of life. These pieces play highly for against your decisions. I have been in the room when a doctor told a 91 year old that there was nothing more they could do for her hip fracture because of her age and heart condition. The reality was that physician did not believe that this elderly woman's quality of life would be as good if he operated and so he advised against it.
This woman was alert and oriented and adamantly refused to take no for an answer. She researched and found another surgeon in another state that would take on her case. She received that surgery. She continued to walk 2 miles 2 times a week for 10 more years. Until arthritis made it too painful. At 101 she succumbed to a wheel chair and lived 4 more in that.
In order for her to receive that surgery she had to know that the physician's terms weren't hers. That physician had no idea how active this woman was and didn't ask. She didn't know to tell him. In order for a physician to truly be on your side he has to know where you stand. It is our job to remind him of the facts about us. It is natural for a physician to have their own beliefs and practices. It is our job to assure he knows ours.
That woman I described above was my grandmother, Nina Luckett. She lived to 105. I believe she would have lived longer but they found a skin cancer on her ear and told the family it was inoperable. By the time this nurse granddaughter found out she was a week from dying. She learned to play chess for the first time the week before. She reminds me every day why we need to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves.
Many who read this will have their own beliefs about my grandmother's quality of life because "she is so old." My grandmother was indeed elderly but old she was not. She believed in learning something new, standing up for the underdog, fighting for the rights of others. She believed that aging was part of the way God made us. She believed that when God said he was finished He would take her home. Her skin cancer may have been inoperable but the choices or options were never even mentioned to the family. In fact they were only told that she had a skin cancer and "we aren't going to treat it because it isn't necessary."
The whole family wept when they discovered the type was not only operable but a simple procedure. They still talk about letting her down. She was content to go at any time so I don't grieve her loss. I only look at her experience to consider how I may better advocate for those around me.
I recommend that you take the time to find out the beliefs of those you care about that are directly around you. Advocate for their needs when necessary and ask questions so you are well informed.
Next week I will share a story about a very young boy that had a similar fate.
To find out more about Lisa Doyle, RN, BSN, CMC contact her at www.caycare.com
She believes in advocating for those around you that need it and using a trained advocate when you feel you don't have enough of the information.
